So, you’ve had a baby, and now you’re in the joyous phase of being back at your mom’s place (because where else would you be in India, right?). But alongside the baby’s adorable coos and your recovery, there’s also the whirlwind of unsolicited guests and endless advice. Well-meaning relatives and family friends are popping by, offering their two cents, and suddenly, you’ve got a “village” managing your baby’s every move. Here’s how to survive the chaos without losing your cool—or your mind.
The Uninvited Guests: Welcome (or Not) to the Madhouse
In Indian households, the concept of ‘visiting hours’ seems to have gone out the window. People drop by unannounced, eager to see the baby and, in some cases, take a good look at the new mom (as if you’re not already feeling the pressure). While their excitement is sweet, let’s face it, sometimes it’s just too much. Here’s your survival guide:
Set Visiting Hours (It’s Not a 24/7 Open House)
It’s okay to put your foot down and set some boundaries. You don’t have to entertain every aunt, uncle, or neighbor who wants to come and “bless” the baby at 8 PM. A polite, “We’re adjusting to the new routine and would love to see you once we settle in. Let’s plan for a visit next week!” will help manage expectations.
Be Selective With Your Visitors
This is the time to prioritize your peace. While family might insist on dropping in, consider who you really want around during these early days. If Uncle Vijay insists on visiting even though you just got through a long day with the baby, it’s perfectly fine to say, “Not today, thank you!” You’re allowed to say no.
Ask for Help When Needed (And Say No When You Don’t)
It’s great when guests want to “help,” but sometimes the help is more draining than anything else. Whether it’s offering unsolicited parenting tips or demanding a photo session with your newborn, don’t be afraid to ask them to leave when you’re tired or need space. “I’m really tired right now; let’s catch up tomorrow” works just fine.
Unsolicited Advice: “Beta, This Is How We Did It”
In an Indian household, there’s no shortage of advice. From your mom telling you how she handled your first bath (spoiler: no, you don’t want to try that method) to aunties recommending the “best” baby sleep techniques, it’s overwhelming. Here’s how to navigate it:
Smile, Nod, and Let It Go
In Indian culture, advice is handed out like free ladoos at a wedding. But not all of it is useful. Smile, nod, and take it with a grain of salt. “Thanks, I’ll think about it” is usually enough. And hey, you don’t have to follow everything just because someone says, “This is the way it’s always been done!”
Seek Out Your Tribe
Your mom might be great at giving advice, but that doesn’t mean you need to take all of it. Find the people who actually support your choices. Whether it’s your sister, a friend who’s been through the same, or even a trusted neighbor—surround yourself with those who respect your parenting style. They’ll have your back, not just with advice, but with real help when you need it.
Set Boundaries (You Can Do It, Mom!)
If someone’s advice is downright ridiculous (or just doesn’t align with what you believe is best for your baby), it’s okay to politely set boundaries. “Thanks for your suggestion, but we’re trying something different” works wonders, especially when it’s coming from a well-meaning but overly enthusiastic relative.
Protect Your Peace: Take a Break, Even in Your Mom’s House
Let’s face it: you’re likely at your mom’s house because it’s supposed to be a support system, but sometimes the constant parade of visitors and advice can feel like you’re being put on display. Here’s how to protect your peace:
It’s Okay to Say No (Don’t Feel Guilty)
You don’t have to entertain every visitor, every phone call, or every suggestion. If you’re overwhelmed, it’s okay to say, “I need a break right now. We’ll meet later.” This is your recovery time, so own it!
Focus on What Works for You
At the end of the day, you’re the mother, and you know what’s best for your baby. Trust your instincts, even if they don’t align with your mom’s, aunt’s, or everyone else’s opinion. They may have their experience, but you are the expert on your child.
Conclusion: Manage Your Postpartum Like a Boss
Being at your mom’s house after giving birth can be a blessing and a challenge. While your family’s love and attention are precious, their constant visits and advice can be a bit much. Set boundaries, ask for help when you need it, and don’t be afraid to stand firm on your choices. Remember, you’re the one in charge of your baby’s schedule and your recovery. You got this, and no amount of unsolicited advice is going to change that!
